Rod Blagojevich tries, fails to distract media with collection of human interest stories
by AARON ALTMAN
The Illinois House of Representatives formally impeached governor Rod Blagojevich today, forcing the not-indicted but talkative Blagojevich to come out of hiding and quote poetry in a last-ditch attempt to save, um his dignity? We’re not sure.
Blagojevich was impeached on charges that he tried to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat; he was also charged with attempting to expand the state’s healthcare system without the approval of the Illinois Legislature. (Uh, is more healthcare such a bad thing? Man, Illinois is weeeeeeeird.) Anyway, that gave Blagojevich the opening he needed! From the Times:
…he brought to the dais with him a dozen Illinois residents whom he said he had helped get health care. They included a man in a wheelchair wearing a neck brace and two toddlers who were crying in the background throughout the proceedings.
HA HA, the babies got it right! Blagojevich ouldn’t take any questions about the pesky Obama thing, but decided to end the proceedings with lines from Alfred Lord Tennyson’s “Ulysses”:
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Translation: “I’m not going anywhere, fuckers!”
8 responses so far ↓
SisterMaryMartha // January 9, 2009 at 7:59 pm
That dead baby in the corner kills me.
aaronaltman // January 9, 2009 at 8:04 pm
SMM: That baby isn’t dead, just wondering how the rest of that Tennyson poem goes.
SisterMaryMartha // January 9, 2009 at 8:09 pm
AA, I am pretty certain we are viewing a silent protest. This child has slipped the mortal coil – in a desperate attempt to escape Blowgoyahard’s blustering.
Nic // January 9, 2009 at 8:12 pm
The child on the ground just pwnd the headdesk that would normally accompany any reference to Blago. Touché child. Too-shay.
LilyBlue // January 9, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Alternate headline:
The Hairball from the Heartland Hones Howlers
vaquero // January 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm
face plant! drunk on power!
Curly Q Tips // January 9, 2009 at 9:47 pm
No child left behind?
Nard // January 9, 2009 at 9:54 pm
OK, this fucker has been a mild annoyance until now. The use of Tennyson is too much. My grandfather, a lifelong fisherman, chose a Tennyson poem (“Crossing the Bar”) to be read at his funeral. While I can’t claim an ownership interest over all things Tennyson, I can say that Tennyson is off limits to this cheese dick.