5 Second Movie Review: Nights in Rodanthe

January 8, 2009 · 3 Comments

By Rene Sance

“Any film based on a Nicholas Sparks novel and starring a preening Richard Gere pretty much guarantees a suckage stew. Hackneyed symbolism buttresses facile emotional development as storms crash, virtual strangers stroll hand-in-hand by the sea, and horses gallop by for no particular reason. Everyone finds redemption. Christopher Meloni and Scott Glenn appear, so someone must have been raped while chasing a Typhoon class submarine, but I missed that bit.”

Categories: 5 Second Movie Review · Rene Sance
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3 responses so far ↓

  • vaquero // January 8, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    General principles, particular principles, no principles, whatever. But get that gerbil out of there first. Poor creature needs some air.

  • ninahagen // January 8, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Lemmywinks! No!

  • Notyourmother // January 9, 2009 at 12:52 am

    Are there any cans of vegetables in this one? Because if there are, and any of them share a poignant scene with Christopher Meloni, I’m out nine bucks. And a stick of butter. Unsalted, preferably.

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